Gene Splicing Now A Reality
It seems that gene-splicing has become a reality. Now all those old
jokes about crossing a parrot with a centipede are within the realm
of possibility. Here are a few examples:
Cross an Indian monkey with a vine of the legume family and a plant
with yellow cup-shaped flowers will give you Rhesus Peanut Buttercup.
Cross a Sasquatch and a baboon. It's a Sassoon, which lurks in the
suburbs at night, catches unwary women and styles their hair.
Cross an armadillo with a hammerhead shark and keep your fridge
smelling fresh. It's an Arm & Hammerhead shark.
Cross a male grouse with a female dog and you get a bird dog that's
always complaining, a Grouse-and-Bitch.
Cross a parrot with an alligator and when the Parrigator asks you for
a cracker, you'd be well advised to give it one.
Crossing a sheep dog and a baby of the carp family will get you a
Splice the genes of 63,360 inchworms and you get a Mile-Worm.
An Impossabull is what you get when you make a three-way cross between
an impala, a possum and a bull. It's a 2000 lb. antelope that hangs
from trees and drops down on unsuspecting matadors.
Here's an interesting five-way cross. An Alaskan King Crab, a
kingfisher, a jackrabbit, a jackass and a jackal gives you a Full
Cross a rabbit with an amoeba gives you an Amoebit. It can multiply
and divide at the same time.
Cross a grasshopper and a hippopotamus, and you get a Grasshoppapotamus.
It's a short-lived creature that can leap to tremendous heights.... once.
A coyote and an ass. This results in a Doncoyote. An ass that brays
at windmills and tilts at the moon.
Cross a lion and an ocelot and you get a political animal. It's a
Lialot, close relative of the Cheetalot.
Cross a racehorse with a hog and you get a Thoroughpig.
Cross a sheep with a porcupine and you get a Sheepupine. It not only
supplies you with wool but will also knit you a sweater.
Here's one from the sixties. It travels in packs, searching for grass
and other kinds of dope. Cross a male sheep, a baby sheep, an
Australian wild dog and a donkey. It's Aram-Alam-Ading-Donk.
A combination of a lamprey eel and a baboon created at a famous American
college gives you the Harvard Lampoon.
Two very dull fish, a grouper and a porgy produces some very interesting
results. A Grouporgy.
A coward and a hyena gives you the laughing stock of the party, the
Cross a snake with a canary and you get a bird that sings with a lisp.
Cross a lamb with a camel to produce sweaters with bumps especially for
the ladies, a Lamel.
Here's one from the flora domain. Cross the aloe and baby's breath to
get the ingredients for the French aphrodisiac, the Aloebaby.
Cross a donkey with a Doberman and you get the Asspinscher, the dog who
thinks he's a goose.
Incidentally, the cross between a parrot and a centipede mentioned
earlier will get you a Walkie-Talkie.
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Barbara Petersen, January 2002 firstname.lastname@example.org